Water – The Ultimate Adult Beverage

I’ve been trying on a pretty radical practice lately…I’ve been drinking more water.

Most days anyways – why is it so fucking hard to drink water? For whatever reason I don’t particularly like the stuff…

Sure, if it’s super hot and I’ve been working hard and haven’t had anything to drink for a while, and there’s no Gatorade, or Monster, and the water’s ice-fucking cold then I will drink it greedily.

Why is something so inherent to me, so undesirable to me?

(Maybe there’s more there?)

Anyways…

Sometimes it seems we wonder at the natural world’s hydrological marvels like how a kangaroo rat can live in the dessert but not need any water, the way a saguaro cactus stores it in it’s trunk, or the mythological camel’s hump (hint – one is a decent sources of fresh-ish water in a real pinch)…but, when we say the human body is comprised of 60% water we sort of scientifically detach from the idea that human bodies are really just complicated vessels that store water…and lots of it.

In a sense, water is the only necessary component to our survival (recently, super-polluted air proof positive of this fact).

Check out Ray Maor the confirmed breatharian for an even more radical example of this fact (they filmed him continuously for Israeli television to prove that he could ‘dry fast’ for seven days – of course it begs the question, ‘How much do you really trust television…in Israel?’.)

Ice, atmospheric humidity, clouds, plants, other mammals…even the earth itself are really just varieties of vessels for water…and everything depends on it and affects it…

Conductor…medium…universal solvent and solute…

Water’s gotta be the least appreciated, lowest common denominator on our beautiful, blue planet…

I’m like The World’s Most Interesting Man when it comes to water – I don’t always drink it, but when I do I drink the best, highest quality water I can get my hands on…I drive up the mountain, to the store, or a hippy’s house if I have to…

At some point we all took for granted that what is coming out of the tap is good and healthy…turns out it is neither.


What it is in contemporary terms is clean…at best.

In most municipalities it is not free of residual human hormones and pharmaceutical birth controls…nor, is it free of deadly chlorine and fluoride…

Even if the latter two deadly chemicals are recommended by 4 out of 5 dentists, 3 out of 4 politicians, and 5 out of 6 assholes…

One of Fluoride’s most touted initial mass applications was in the Soviet prison system where it was said to make prisoners more docile…it also is said to calcify the pineal gland…in 1945 Grand Rapids Michigan was the first US city to Fluoridate it’s water despite acknowledgement of it’s general lethality.

Look it up for yourself.

If you’re gonna drink from the tap, solarize it…don’t criticize it.

(That was a shot-in-the-dark reference to Peter Tosh’s ganja inspired song).

Survival tip of the day coming – leaving water to sit in the full sun in a clear container for a full day is typically enough to allow the UV rays to naturally disrupt the reproductive pattern of harmful microorganisms in water.

It allows for the natural off-gassing of chlorine, and is also said to leach out Fluoride and add the properties of Vitamin D.

How to Solarize Water:

  • Fill a glass container not plastic
  • Place in full sun for as long as possible with thin cloth covering over the opening to keep out macro pests – make sure it doesn’t block the sun
  • Enjoy cleaner, safer, better tasting and healthier water

It’s simple, not easy – you still have to do the discipline. But, hey, it’s a helluva lot easier than the average Kenyan woman who has to trek over 3 miles a day just to collect her water.

“On average, women and children in developing countries walk 3.7 miles and carry 5 gallons everyday day to bring clean water home to their families.”

Approximately 2.1 billion people a day have to actually secure their water?

2.1 billion!

I once coached a room of about a hundred yogis on how to drink their water…

I worked their asses hard for 30 minutes (there’s a joke there)…then invited them to drop-down (and another)…to wrap their hands deliberately around (yet another joke) their water bottles (get your mind out of the gutter – this is still a yoga-blog)…and, to imagine how wonderful and amazing the drink was going to be…to take a moment to be grateful for it’s quenching nature…(by now they were either furious or into it)…then to drink with deliberate gratitude…

Most of them ‘got it’…or, at least, pretended to…

I try to remind myself of all this when I haven’t taken any of the clear stuff my body is made of in a while.

Do I (or you) have a headache? Depressed, anxious, or irritable? Sluggish, lack of energy?

May not just be pandemic weariness…could be chronic dehydration.

I’ve been trying to identify the times I lack hydration and any correlatives to my physical or mental state.

I employ a few ‘tricks’ to get more water into me…I carry a water bottle, I drink some every time I give the dogs some…

I also try to be more mindful…I love happy hour, for example, but unfortunately it turns out happy hour is the second worst time for your body to drink alcohol because, other than when you wake up, it’s most likely to be at it’s least hydrated…

Instead I’ve been trying to ‘hyper-hydrate’ between the hours of 5-7p, and then seeing if I still want a liquor drink? If I do, then I fucking I have one (it doesn’t hit as hard, as fast unfortunately). If you go this route try taking a Kudzu root pill as you do – it somehow enhances the onset of alcohol and alleviates the suffering of hangovers e.g. makes you drunker and less hungover.

Nights I can manage to drive 64 oz of good water into me in that time frame I seem to suffer less regardless of which path I choose for the rest of the evening.

Water’s precious and it’s easy access is not universal to everyone. It is the last great resource, and we need to protect it.

Whether you gotta trick yourself, or remind yourself to be grateful, savor some water…for we may not always get to.

Good luck, Yogis!

JK

 

 

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Justin “Jud” Kaliszewski is the best-selling yoga teacher and renowned creator of Outlaw Yoga. Author. Artist. Adventurer. Though his studio is currently closed per state order, you can still take his class NOW at outlawyogaclub.com and www.youtube.com/outlawyoga. Find his writing and art at www.justinkaliszewski.com and his presence all over the internet – for an outlaw, he’s shockingly easy to get ahold of.